Where the River Slows You Down

It was around 7 in the evening, the sun was setting on my left, beyond the jhula, behind the tall mountains. Ganga was flowing at its pace, a quiet strength that I felt as I dipped my feet in it, holding on to an iron chain for support. The ghat has huge steps on both banks, the river tamed in between. As I sat on the highest step, I realized I could see the Parmarth Niketan Ashram right opposite me as it was preparing for the Sandhya Aarti.

A little girl suddenly appeared before me and blocked my view. She had those small bowls of colorful flowers to sell. To tell you the truth, I would have taken all of them right off her chest without hesitation, but I feared it would lead to a swarm of kids around me. So I paid for two and also for her biscuit-chai, let her leave.

The aarti had started, which must have been a bit loud to all the devotees there, but on this side of the ghat, sounded like vibrating waves of pure energy, mixing with the magic of Ganga, reaching me, coursing through me, leaving me spellbound.

As if in a blissful trance, I hummed along, watching flames of diyas make circles in the air in perfect synergy, coming to a thunderous end, the vibration of which I felt deep inside me, as if putting something back into place.

And then began the most magical part of the night as people on the ghat started floating their diyas in Ganga. As the flames met the waves and were drawn with them downstream, I found myself letting my tears flow too, along with them, releasing them from the agony of holding on.

I got up, lighted my diyas, went down to the river, and let them go. I watched them glide, swirl, and dance. I watched them fight for their flame in the cool breeze of the night. I watched them till I couldn’t anymore.

As I sat there, quiet, I understood a lot of things, in a way one can understand only
for themselves. And I knew, I would come here again, sit here again, experience this
aura which makes you one, with all their other elements.