I Feel This So Strongly

So , my son , a football crazy 11 year old recently started gaining height over a relatively short span of time at a relatively higher speed than his friends . Needless to say he was constantly at the receiving end of compliments on the same . Everyone telling him ‘ oh , how tall ! Almost as tall as your mother ‘ made him very happy . I used to smile and look at him adoringly.

Until one day I overheard him talking to his friend in the other room . He quite ‘ matter of fatly ‘ told his friend how he was taller than him , though there was a 1.5 year age gap . My ‘mom antenna ‘ were raised.

Then I noticed him constantly comparing his hand span with his dad’s , comparing shoe sizes with his friends and wanting to buy bigger sizes to flaunt his height . At this point I felt an intervention was needed . So one day , when him and I were alone and he told me he was now taller than so and so , I said .. Yuvi , being tall is a good thing but tell me something , .. what is your contribution to it ? What did you do to make you tall ?

When he answered- nothing , I continued ..Yes , there is absolutely nothing you did in this aspect of getting taller , it was bestowed to you owing most likely to your genes . So , it is wrong to take any kind of
pride in it . Be happy, yes , but not proud . And it is further wrong to compare it with
your friends who have most likely not reached their growth spurt . Stop it immediately.

He understood.

I did follow up with qualities that he should be proud of including his good behavior, smart studying and goal keeping skills. He worked for it and he should be proud.

But his height , or any part of his looks .. no . Those are not the qualities to feel proud of . Ever. They are yours . Be confident in your skin . But , that’s all . You have
no contribution to it.

Is there any other way to look at it ? I can’t unsee it anymore. My looks are all thanks to my genes . I had nothing to with it .So I have no right to harbor any pride or arrogance around it . And on the same note , nor should I be dissatisfied or shameful about it . Right ?

My son completely understood . He loves his increasing height as his own without comparing and is now being beautifully sensitive enough not to tease his friends about their height . I m happy.